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The Power of Filling Buckets

So it's been awhile since my last post. Apparently I am struggling more than I thought with time management! Pretty ironic since that was my last post. I am still tracking what I do but, as is expected, so much happens that you can't plan!

A couple of my friends and I were talking the other night at dinner (they are newish teachers) and it occurred to me just how much outside work is done in the first years of working in education. I don't even have to plan out instruction for whole days and I am exhausted. I have an idea what they are going through because I spend most of my free time researching new activities to do with students, adapting my "curriculum" lessons because they were only meant to be a first draft and were therefore not complete, or perusing the internet for any and all ideas to plan out the rest of my year. Finding the right lessons and/or approaches is SO MUCH WORK! Not that I am not willing to do it but I have to give MAD props to people who did it without the digital world at the fingertips. I am forever grateful for pintrest and a plethora of other blogs that I can rely on to help give me ideas and lessons!

I am working with one 2nd grade class specifically and I was feeling lost as to how to best help them because what they really needed was to feel a sense of community. After a few weeks of random lessons I decided to read, Have you filled a bucket today? by Carol McCloud. The students really connected with it! Next week we are introducing a wall with buckets for each student and we will practice filling buckets. I know the teacher and an aide really liked it and it occurred to me how little bucket filling happens at a school. We are so busy focusing on students, complaining about things not working and fighting off sleep deprivation, that I think we fail to remember how much we need positives to keep us going!

Then I got an email from another counselor in my district just checking in on me. IT MADE MY DAY!! Because yesterday was kind of rough on my confidence and I was starting to feel lost, just her offer of help made me feel better. So go out and smile at people. Say thank you. Be models of bucket filling for my students, they sure need it!

Part Time, Smart Time!

So, as I have mentioned before I am in a part time school counseling position. Part time is pretty laughable because as a first year counselor I am massively overwhelmed and the little time I am at school is spent seeing students and doing lessons. That leaves a lot of time at home to goof off right? Wrong! I spend a lot of nights researching and compiling information for teachers and trying to find effective ways to spend my time like most other school counselors and educators. I call the sheets I currently use as Smart Time Sheets. I track my time in 15 minute increments just like I did in internship. That way I can accurately show how much direct service I am giving, the students I am unable to meet with (I track how many I wasn't able to see) and how much time I actually spend on the phone with parents, outside therapists, DHHS or the police. It also allows me to show how much of my 3 days I have to spend on 504 plans and what that does to the little time I can spend with the students.

At this time there is little hope I will be ever made full time next year because of budget issues. If, by the grace of God I am, the counselor from last year has dibs on my position (kinda crazy right?!). So I am working hard to keep my portfolio up to date with interventions I used that worked and didn't work. And graphs of time I actually spend with students so I can apply to jobs next year with real data to show.

Now some people may think, part time? That's great you get two days off a week! Yes, sometimes it's nice to have a "day off." For two reasons that rocks at the moment. One, I can go on long morning runs and greet the sunrise on top of my version of mt. everest (best view of town). Two, because I can plug in my iPod and take a long shower belting out my favorite show tunes and pop hits and working on my dance moves. Other than that I spend my time trying to not spend money and testing my cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques on my dog because he is afraid of the outdoors. And then I sit around trying not to worry about how my students are doing. Hopefully I will be able to substitute teach consistently in the districts near my house so that I can get my name out there and secure a job closer to home that pays me enough to do my dream job and move out of my parents house (although I love it here Mom and Dad!). I will also be working for LL Bean in their call center so that I can get a discount to buy kayaks and other fun outdoorsy stuff!

But for now its all about Smart Time. Using every minute to be a support to my students, asking about their day as I tie their shoes, keeping track of students for groups I need to start and trying to keep my laptop closed and my ears open. I love my job and am excited that eventually I will be able to do it full time but just like school counselors whose positions are in trouble of being eliminated altogether, I have to prove my time is worth the money they pay me and that I could make a better impact with more time! (yay education!)

Great moment of the week:
In giving my meet the counselor lessons I collected a variety of ideas on what school counselors do and what students wanted to know. One student asked if I lived with my parents...yes, yes I do. And another told me school counselors dress well, my middle/high/college school self gave me a high five. My current self decided there was a lot of education on my job that needed to be done!

Balance

I think one of the most important messages my professors tried to get across to us in our classes (besides that we can and are changing the world!) is to focus on self-care. I think this is crucial in every profession but it is very important for school counselors because of what we deal with on a daily basis. The stories we listen to can be tough to digest and move on from. Leaving it at school isn't always possible. However, I take that message seriously. I am an athletic person so I find my self-care revolves around being active but everyone is different!

Because my position is not full time I had the flexibility to take on another role as First Team Field Hockey coach at the High School. The position was still available when I accepted my counseling job and they were desperate to get someone. Although I have very little experience coaching, I did play field hockey for 11 years and have friends to rely on for support. I thought it would be a great way to earn some extra money and would be a lot of fun.

While it hasn't been the wonderful experience my playing years were, I am starting to like it. I hated it at first which was difficult but as I've gained more confidence in what I am doing and as I have accepted that we may not ever win a game, I have come to realize that it has given me a balance in life that I would not have found so easily. Instead of getting to work early and leaving late, I get there early but have to leave early. When I leave, I have to leave what I am worrying about at the door and focus on what practice is going to look like or who is going to play where in the game. By the time I am done I am no longer focused on what I was dealing with at school. I'm also already dressed in workout clothes which helps me to get my butt in gear to go on a run, sans music because even for an extrovert like me, silence is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Field hockey ends in a few weeks and then I will have to be focused on another part-time job. I am hoping that means I can continue to leave work at the door. I am proud of myself for starting to learn how to do this early on in my career. But its just that, a start, we will see where the next 9 months get us! At times, I am overwhelmed with pressure only I am putting on myself, so self-care is crucial. Thanks to Groupon I can afford a massage or pedicure every once in awhile too!

And since so many people have commented on my Philip story from my last post here's another funny moment for me:

I was teaching a meet the counselor lesson in a kindergarten class using materials from Marco including the Who the Counselor is Not book. In the material there is a sheet about getting to know the students. It asks them to pat their head or rub their tummy if they like certain things like ice cream. Well, one of the questions had them nodding their head if they like puppies. After one class questioned why I never mentioned kittens I decided to incorporate them into it as well. Except for this one class I said. "Nod your head if you like kitties." And one boy sat straight up on his knees and threw his hand in the air yelling, " I love titties!!" An innocent declaration hindered by a speech impediment. None of the kids noticed but the adults sure did! All in a days work right?

I'm Actually a School Counselor!!

So, I thought it was time to start blogging again. It's been awhile and I am not so great at it but as I have started a new job I feel the need to write and share!

I am now an Elementary School Counselor! That is still weird to say but I love saying it. I am so thankful to have a job in my field, even if it isn't full time. I am bummed that I have to continue to find other part-time work but there are sacrifices you make to get started right?! Or maybe we could all get on the bandwagon of how awesome school counselors are and budget them in full-time? I mean how do I tell a student they can't have a bad day on Tuesdays or Thursdays?

My official title at my school is *gag* Guidance Counselor. I have launched a not so subtle plan of attack on using the "G" word. I never introduce myself as just the guidance counselor, I introduce my self as school guidance counselor and then transition to school counselor. It's only been a few weeks so I don't know if I have made any lasting change yet but I refuse to give up and will slowly change the title if that's what I have to do! Mainer's HATE change so this is quite an endeavor. Students on the other hand have picked it up!

I work in a K-3 school in rural Maine. It is a far cry from Chicago but nothing about what I deal with is any different. Except this time it's just me. No awesome supervisor to bounce ideas off of or busy office where I knew what was going on at all times. It's a bit intimidating, ok a lot intimidating, but I feel confident in my skills and have started to really find my own voice and style which is great.

I have an office to myself which is nice in theory. Except that when I was reorganizing all the stuff that was left behind I found a ton of mouse droppings! Now, if you know me and my background, you'd know my intense fear of mice from first grade on. It was hard enough to start a new job, but to be scared of what you'd find in your office, I was so nervous! However, the silver lining is it gave me something else to be nervous about; I operated on instinct and that made a huge difference in the first few days of school. I also find it cave like (no windows), so it gets me out into the school and visible!

I'll end on a note about working with elementary school students. Although I've already had that moment where I had to shut the door and convince myself not to cry, after hearing a student's background, they provide the best stories and the best learning moments.

Today's learning moment comes from my recess duty where I helped a student look for his friend Philip for a good 5 minutes before the student revealed to me that Philip was actually a fly... Lesson learned: details are crucial.

Happy Monday!

The Basics of Good Sportsmanship

So, I attempted my first group/lesson on Thursday. Of course it was one of those days at our school where everyone got hurt on the playground, meetings lasted forever and no issue could be resolved easily. BUT we were scheduled to start and so I pushed through.

I took 14 boys from one of the 5th grade classes into our office to share my wisdom on good sportsmanship. Not only have I never taught before (preschool just doesn't count really), I had the assistant principal, secretary, visiting principal and two nurses all sharing the room. No pressure at all, right? I felt like all eyes and ears were on me.

First, I made sure the boys understood who I was and why we were meeting. Many thought I just helped in the lunch room so that in itself was a great indicator to me that I needed to be more visible in the school. Then each boy shared their name and one thing about themselves they thought I should know. Things got very loud. I got a little scared I was losing them already but the assistant principal stepped in because she was trying to have a meeting. Nice to have backup!

I split the group in two so they could come up with lists of good and bad sportsmanship. There was so much to teach them about just based on this exercise. One team just couldn't make it work because they didn't have someone to lead the way. The other filled their sheet up.

Once those were presented I asked them to each visualize a time they had demonstrated bad sportsmanship and then asked them what they could have done differently. This group of boys LOVES to talk and share which is wonderful but makes it hard to finish the task at hand. So instead of having them just share I put them in pairs so they could act out a scenario together.

My supervisor walked in at this time so they performed them for her. The skits were a hit! They definitely understand the idea of good and bad sportsmanship even if in our observations they don't often use good sportsmanship at school.

We are meeting three more times and I am working in collaboration with their teacher to see how we can create real life examples of sportsmanship (i.e. half of them are sports journalists on the playground one day noting all examples of good sportsmanship, the other half the next). I am really excited to see where it takes us and REALLY happy my first lesson is over. It wasn't perfect but the assistant principal was impressed and liked it. Hopefully the boys enjoyed it enough. Now on to get more creative!

Today, I Feel Silly!

Today I Feel Silly by Jamie Lee Curtis. Illustrated by Laura Cornell

Quick shout out to my Amate roommate Emily for turning me on to this wonderful book! And reading it as a bedtime story with such enthusiasm!

Today I Feel Silly and Other Moods That Make My Day is a book by Jamie Lee Curtis (yes, the actress). It follows a young girl who expresses that sometimes she feels a variety of things throughout her day and thats ok. With colorful and fun illustrations this book is for all ages! It even has an interactive wheel of different faces we make when we have all of these feelings.

So far I have only used this book with a couple of students in one on one counseling but more and more I realize it needs to be used for a variety of reasons. Personally, bibliotherapy is my favorite because I absolutely love reading. I know its not for every kid but if I can connect with it I know I can use it to get my message out in some way.

The message in this book is that all feelings are OK. You are allowed to feel angry and upset and silly and mean. The important part of the book is that this girl is able to NAME her feelings an important aspect of understanding oneself that many adults even struggle with. At times she feels angry and acts out. I don't condone the practice of being angry all the time but if a child (or adult) can explain that they are angry they are already a step towards talking about what is making them angry and why.

I recently watched a TED Talk (start watching these immediately, my mind is blown after listening to most talks) by Brene Brown who studies vulnerability. She discussed the power of vulnerability and it resonates with my thoughts on sharing emotions. So often we don't allow for kids to feel, we dry tears that need to be shed and we contain anger that needs an outlet. It isn't a surprise we as adults are unable to allow ourselves to feel those very emotions, we are shown that we should cover up the bad and that we should always be happy. Well, no wonder so many students and adults aren't happy! Because for some reason we think we should always be, that its not ok to be vulnerable and feel the emotions we have. Buzz word: overmedicated.

Brown explains that people who have a sense of love and belonging gained these because they first believed they were worthy of love and belonging. (We could argue about where that comes from and how hard it would be for so many students, but lets take her at her word for the moment). Believing they were worthy wasn't the only step, they had to have the courage to be IMPERFECT (i.e. to sometimes feel silly, happy, sad, angry, mean), they leaned into the vulnerability so they could learn from it.

Vulnerability is scary and I avoid it like the plague personally, but I can see its value as a quality to demonstrate to students. And accepting imperfection, woah. Imagine what would happen to our "perfect" society?

So watch her talk here. Order the book here. And I promise to get off my soapbox for the night.